this blog

The ramblings and observations of a kidney transplant recipient, although not necessarily for that reason.

probably smarter than me
book i'm reading
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole (recommended by Killer)
Blog Of The Day Awards Winner
Now on the US Postal Service's Top Ten Most Dangerous list...
Thursday, August 31, 2006

You have been introduced to Soldier before. You may have figured out from the introduction that he comes to work with me. He pretty much lounges around all day until lunch, when its time to find to anyone with food and try not to beg. Then its more laying around until its time to go home for the day. Soldier is good at what he does. Note that he is free to roam around the entire building as he pleases. Everyone in the office loves him.

The only potential interruption in his state of lounginess may be a delivery or two throughout the day. Wherein he needs to go see who's here and bark as loud and long as possible if he doesn't recognize them. You can tell how ferocious he is from the above picture. Most people are not bothered by his approach, even when barking. Ahh....but we have a new mailman.

Today I received this letter from the Post Office:

Dear Postal Customer,

Your letter carrier is intersted in delivering your mail promptly and without inconvenience to you. To do this, he/she must be able to approach your mail box/business without interference.

On Wednesday, 8/30/06, your dog appeared to threaten the carrier's safety. Although your dog may not be inclined to bite persons entering your property, you will appreciate the carrier's concern for his/her safety. Each year several thousand letter carriers receive painful injuries from dog bites.

To provide efficient mail deilvery and at the same time to protect postal employees, the Postal Service has issued instructions to letter carriers not to deliver mail where a dog interferes with normal delivery.

Will you please assist your carrier in making his/her regular stop at your residence/business by confining your dog, either in the house/business or fenced outdoors, out of path of the carrier. The city and county leash law requires that your dog be on a leash when he/she is not on your property.

Your carrier has been instructed to continue delivery of your mail, provided his/her safety is not again threatened by your dog. Your cooperation in helping make his/her deliveries without interference will be appreciated.

Thank you,
Smoking A. Bong (name changed)

Let's see. Where to begin? On the date in question the dog was not only inside the building, on my property, he was confined to my office (away from the entry hall), because I had seen how much of a weenie the mailman had been the few days prior. I would like to make clear.....the dog is INSIDE THE BUILDING all day (a singly occupied business address) and not anywhere in the path of the mailman's approch to our door. The weenie was only "threatened" after he ENTERED THE BUILDING. We are violating no leash laws.

In order to assist you in your deilvery of my mail, I would like to point out the following HDA's (Hey! Dipshit! alerts):

#1) Hey! Dipshit! - If you are a mailman who is afraid of dogs, why would you enter a building to deliver mail when there is a BEWARE OF DOG sign on the door? Espeicially when,

#2) Hey! Dipshit! - We have a mail slot!

posted by othur-me @ 4:32 PM  
  • At 12:57 AM, Blogger Jester said…

    We all know just how threatening Soldier is. *yawn*

    The simple fix to this would be to invite the mailman in to meet Soldier. I've had to do that with my mail carrier who once pulled a can of mace on me when I opened the door and he thought the dog might rush out at him. Gracie still barks at him, but know he says hi to her and she shuts up. Hudson is another story.

  • At 7:02 AM, Blogger othur-me said…

    Jester - believe me I've tried. I've done it with every mailman we've had since I got Soldier. The first time, he declined. I even tried after that, but he runs drops the mail and runs back to his truck so quick, theres no chance. I don't like the letter, especially since A) I've tried to work it out with him. AND B) WE HAVE A MAIL SLOT!

  • At 7:05 PM, Blogger Seattle Tall Poppy said…

    I love your acronym for HDA. Thanks for the laugh!

    ~Seattle Tall Poppy

  • At 8:38 AM, Blogger Killer said…

    Maybe the problem is that the mail slot is under the handicap sign. It could be the mail carrier thinks this slot is reserved for mentally or physically challenged mail only. I think you should remove the sign.

  • At 8:43 PM, Blogger don't call me MA'AM said…

    Wow. Sounds like this guy had some major traumatic event with a dog to be that scared. or he's just a weenie, as you say.

  • At 10:43 PM, Blogger Red said…

    Damn, all "letter carriers" have to deal with is weather and dogs. Step up, bitch!

  • At 3:46 PM, Blogger othur-me said…

    DCMM - weenie is as weenie does.

    Red - mine doesn't even really HAVE to deal with my dog.

  • At 5:50 PM, Blogger Bianca Roland said…

    Haven't met Jester yet. Looks like that will happen sometime next week.

Post a Comment
<< Home
about me
Name: othur-me
Home: San Francisco-ish, California, United States
About Me:
See my complete profile
so good the first time
old stuff
powered by


© 2005 Immuno-(im?)(de?)(sup?)pressed Template by jester.