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The ramblings and observations of a kidney transplant recipient, although not necessarily for that reason.

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Thursday, June 08, 2006
I was watching the Food Network the other day (I know....there is a pattern to my TV watching habits), and Gianna “What’s Her Face’s” show Everyday Italian was on. I watch this channel to get inspiration for dinner and/or get useful cooking tips. Gianna was making some sort of gourmet sandwich of which I had not too much interest in, but she did have a tip to offer. She was going to be putting mayo and mustard on this sandwich and she had this to say: “When I put mayo and mustard on sandwiches I use two knives, one for the mayo and one for the mustard. That way I don’t get mayonnaise in the mustard jar.”

To the Food Network audience who actually needs this advice*:
1) If you have actually made it this far in life without making your own bologna and cheese sandwich, I applaud your laziness. Please let me know if your mom will adopt me and/or your spouse will divorce you and marry me.
2) It may be time for you to give up on your hopes of cooking and change the channel to the Cartoon Network. And, please, stay away from knives altogether, especially two at the same time.
3) Never, ever……EVER!.....make me dinner.

To Gianna:
1) Did you actually go to a fancy cooking school in Paris to learn that little gem of culinary advice?
2) You’re still hot as hell, but c’mon REALLY? Did you have to go and say that on national TV and ruin my thoughts of you being the perfect woman?
3) Never, ever……EVER!.....make me dinner. OK…scratch that….you can make me dinner, but please leave all the cutting, chopping and slicing to me.

*This excludes anyone who may be mentally challenged/impaired and children under the age of say....10. No....9. No.....6.
posted by othur-me @ 11:48 AM  
  • At 9:41 AM, Blogger don't call me MA'AM said…

    You think Gianna the BobbleHead is hot? She's like a stick with a big noggin! ;-)

    I've always just WIPED the knife with a napkin to avoid getting mustard in the mayo jar... saves on utensil cleanage, which saves the number of times I have to turn on the dishwasher, which saves energy, which saves the planet. haha!

  • At 5:07 PM, Blogger don't call me MA'AM said…

    Oops. I guess her name is Giada. Don't want some mobster to come whack me for getting that one wrong.

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