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The ramblings and observations of a kidney transplant recipient, although not necessarily for that reason.

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Thursday, June 01, 2006
The words below come from another blog for which I have no intention of identifying the author because I think she is a moron. I had been reading this blog for a couple weeks and enjoying it, but I will no longer read it as she is intolerant of fat people, the group of people for which it is politically acceptable to make fun of, even by people who consider themselves "liberal". Please read on, and I will discuss more in my next entry after you have soaked it up.

Aftter that last post, I think I have big butts on the brain.Yes, I've been thinking about supersize butts. And when I haven't been thinking about supersize butts I've been thinking about the subway. (This preoccupation actually makes a bit of sense, as I've decided to economize my move by making it as painful and inefficient as possible.) Here's how I do it: I make a few subway trips a day - zipping between my old and new apartments with a huge suitcase. I fill the enormous suitcase with old-apartment crap, haul it back downtown while sweating and swearing, dump crap, and then repeat. I feel pretty smug at the end of the day. Why has no else thought of this?Given the amount of time I spend enduring angry looks from people who are annoyed by my big suitcase, it's no surprise that I would try to shift blame away from my cheap self and persecute other people who take up too much space. So, here's what I'm thinking: New York subway seats have grooves. I can only imagine that the grooves were designed after some research, and that they are based on the dimensions of regulation-sized asses. The average New Yorker butt fits the groove, and the honor of placing your ass in the groove (or at least the opportunity to try) costs you $2.00.But some people take up more than one seat! Their butts spill over the allotted width, throwing off the whole system. Now the person next to them has to scoot over and straddle the peak between grooves, and so on and so forth. The result: an unfair seating distribution, wasted space at the end of each row, and a loss of dignity and comfort for everyone involved. (Not to mention a loss of revenue for the city, and indirectly, our nation's public schools.)I'm no policy-maker, but shouldn't subway riders, like obese airline patrons, have to plunk down another $2.00 if their butts exceed the groove? Or maybe just another $1.00, if their butt is merely peeking over the lip of the next seat? I mean, it's not like the groove isn't plenty generous. I sit my big butt in the groove and still have plenty of wiggle-room. Thoughts?
posted by othur-me @ 6:00 PM  
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